My mom recently told me that I remind her of Erma Bombeck…which I took as a compliment.

Here are some quotes from Erma that I enjoy:

• “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.'”

• “Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” (Amen, sister!)

• “The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.” (This one makes me laugh)

• “I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”

• “My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.” (exactly right…)

• “Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?”

The Erma Museum